Chris Gardner

The joys of self-publishing.


4 Comments

The plural of ‘you’.

It used to be Australians used the term ‘youse’ and some still do. I don’t think I do and it’s generally considered one of those ‘bogan’ words the rest of us avoid. Well-known Texan, Dr Phil, uses y’all, which has a nice ring to it if you have the right accent, but I suspect that’s the American version of youse and is not universally acceptable now in the US if it ever was.

So what is the plural of ‘you’? In the news today our Australian of the Year, David Morrison, has chastised people for using the term ‘guys’ to refer to people of both genders. I must admit I’ve never been offended by this. If you were to call me a guy, as an individual, I might be, but if, for example, I get a text saying “Are you guys home?” it’s clear that refers to both my husband and me. If the text said “Are you home?” then it refers to me only. I’d probably be offended, or puzzled at least, if I got a text saying “Are you men home?” but the term ‘guys’ has somehow become gender neutral, hasn’t it?

I have five adult sons and I tend to still call them ‘the boys’ but since they now all have wives or girlfriends I might use the term ‘guys’ if I’m talking about the guys and the gals together. I’d be interested to see some feedback from our friends in the USA, since we obviously took over ‘guys’ from you. Has the usage changed there? Is it more or less non-gender specific or are we just lazy? Maybe we should speak correctly and say “Are you and your husband at home?” Generally language issues do annoy me but in everyday speech and texts I think we should all just take a chill pill. The language is evolving and BookCoverImageconnectionsit will continue to. She’ll be right mate.

sanctuary cover 2014

‘Sanctuary’, my Sci-fi novel for young adults, is free right now (June 1-5) on Amazon and my collection of short stories, ‘Connections’, will be free from the 3rd to the 7th. For details on all my books please visit my author pages at Amazon.com or Amazon UK.

 

 

 


1 Comment

Its and the Decorative Apostrophe

‘Its’ is a possessive pronoun, just as ‘his’ and ‘hers’ are.  If you add an apostrophe to its it is no longer a possessive pronoun. It’s means it is or it has.  Always. Adding an apostrophe to its is no different to adding an apostrophe to any other pronoun. Apostrophes are always there for a practical reason, not to decorate the page. Many people laugh at the ‘grocer’s apostrophe’, which is frequently seen on signs at the front of all types of stores but sometimes even on major signs by professional sign writers. I’m talking about the use of apostrophes seemingly thrown in at random, usually before an ‘s’ at the end of a word. Most readers and writers know better than that but there are very many who don’t get their ‘its’ right!

While I’m ranting about apostrophes and pronouns I’d better give ‘their’ a mention. Their is a possessive pronoun too and is probably next in line for causing the maximum error rate. They’re means they are. Always. Not a possessive pronoun. There means not here, but over there, and I’m including the reference to ‘here’ because the similarity makes it an easy one to remember. If you add ‘t’ to ‘here’ it becomes ‘there’, right? Easy.

I’m not sure about the veracity of this, but if a university lecturer is a good enough source–an apostrophe always takes the place of something else; it indicates something is missing. Once upon a time people spoke and wrote English quite differently and they would say, or write, ‘the dog, his bone’, rather than ‘the dog’s bone,’ as we do now. The apostrophe was introduced in place of ‘his’ in this example. If we move the apostrophe across, as in ‘the dogs’ bone’, we know there’s more than one dog sharing the bone. Of course when using a pronoun there’s no need for the apostrophe because it makes no sense to say ‘It, its bone’ or ‘Him, his bone.’

That’s the end of my rant for the day–please feel free to pass this on. It’s a small thing, an apostrophe, but whether you’re a signwriter, a book writer or just have a facebook account, please don’t use the poor little misunderstood mark to decorate your page.

Please visit my Amazon author page for details on all my books.

 

 

 


Leave a comment

Breaking in a new computer

Our old computer is, at best, comatose. Hopefully number 1 son, who works in IT, will be able to resurrect it at least sufficiently to get all my email contacts and photos, etc., but we were probably due for a new one anyway. So now I have a shiny new one on my desk and no excuses for not getting on with it. But . . . it’s not that I don’t like new things but I’m not one of those women who adores buying new shoes–I like my comfy old ones. And it took me weeks to break in my new recliner when the old one collapsed. My computer chair is at least ten years old and I bought a new one last year that seemed comfy in the store but when I got it home I only sat on it for half an hour and my back was killing me. So I took it back and had the old one repaired. I decided I’ll just keep getting new bits for it and eventually it’ll all be new bits anyway, but comfortable.

So the new computer is fine but I hated the keyboard. And the mouse, so I’m using my old ones. We installed my old version of Office, having been assured it would be compatible with Windows 8.1 or whatever number we’re on now. Everything seemed fine until I tried to write dialogue. Even then it was fine–a little odd that the quotation marks didn’t come up straight away, but they appeared miraculously when I typed in the next letter. But then I attempted to start dialogue with ‘I’ and things got really weird. After a few experiments I found that while all consonants allowed the quotation mark, whenever I wanted to start dialogue with a vowel, instead of the quotation mark, the letter appeared with two dots above it! I don’t know what these are called or what use they have but I’m pretty sure I don’t need them!sanctuary cover 2014

No-one I asked had any idea what was going on and I thought perhaps my old version of Office wasn’t compatible with the new Windows after all. I had searched online forums with no result and then one last google gave me an immediate solution–apparently my new computer was tuned in to the USA version for keyboards and when I changed it to UK, there being no AUS version, it was fine. I’m still perplexed though–can any US citizens out there tell me why you would want a vowel with two dots above it?

My Sci-fi book, Sanctuary, is free 8th and 9th of May.

Sanctuary is a sci-fi novel for young adults, telling the story of two very different civilizations in the year 2493 AD. The Thrallians are descended from mainstream society; they have blended all racial differences and are bred in laboratories in order to guarantee all citizens will uphold peace and harmony in Thrallia.

The Centrals are descended from the street kids of the 20th century, who lived in the underground subways. They live on whatever they can forage and their society is primitive in comparison with that of Thrallia.

Patric lives in Thrallia, a modern city protected from the scorching sun and unbearable conditions of the outside world. An historian, he has heard of a people called the Moles, who once lived in an underground city nearby, but doesn’t believe they actually existed. Then his friend Derek discovers a strange girl imprisoned in the quarter where the Supers, rulers of Thrallia, live.

Happy Reading and please leave a review on Amazon if you enjoy Sanctuary.


8 Comments

Kindle Countdown Deals–What do you think?

I haven’t given up yet. In theory I prefer the idea of a short-term discount on my books to giving them away. Give-aways are useful and I have one on now, Sanctuary, but only because its usual price is too low to qualify for the discount deal. They have to be at least 2.99 and most of mine are less than that. I cleverly thought, okay, I’ll increase the price of Sanctuary to 2.99 so I can then discount it to .99 for the Countdown Deal. Makes sense, right? And yet, for some unknown reason the system didn’t take on the price change. I waited patiently for a couple of weeks but it still didn’t happen so I made it free instead, until December 12th. This will be the last time it’s free because I’m taking it off Kindle Select and publishing it on Smashwords in January. I have a couple of books there now, including ‘What Did You Say‘, which is free all the time. There’s also an interview and I’d be happy for any suggestions you might have to add to that. Anything you think people might want to know?

The problem I have with give-aways, or problems plural, is that a lot of people, me included, download freebies and don’t get around to reading them and also I wonder if it’s off-putting for those who normally buy books to find the book they bought last week is free this week. So I’ve decided to make it a once only for any books now. When I download a new book, if it’s under 2.99 I’ll make it free for one week, once only and if it’s 2.99 or over I’ll discount it once only through the countdown deals. That sounds all lovely and organised doesn’t it? Then, after that exclusive 90 days with Amazon they’ll all go to Smashwords too. That’s a bit trickier and I’m not entirely sure it’s worthwhile but that’s the plan. Yay I have a plan!

Had a busy couple of weeks–Son number 4 was married on the 30th November, in Melbourne. It was a very unusual and wacky wedding and I loved every minute. Had a great time. I won’t bore you with all the details but I will say that the bride and groom entered dressed as a unicorn . . .

Then yesterday we had another trip to Melbourne to see son number 5 in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, which was not what we were expecting at all. I tried to watch the 1996 movie the other night to get an idea of the story because I thought I’d have trouble following it on stage. The movie was so boring I gave up and I must admit I had reservations about the stage version, which turned out to not be exactly a stage version at all. It was in a book/coffee shop and the action was just everywhere. It’s impossible to describe without taking a couple of pages and I wouldn’t do it justice but it was funny and touching and just an amazing show, performed by new theatre group, The Carving Theatre Company.

So Christmas is nearly on us. My 5 year old grandson decorated our tree ( okay, I did tweak it a little after he left!) but honestly I don’t get the effort some people put into all that stuff. I love having all the family here and that’s the only thing that matters to me. We will eat a hot turkey and ham for lunch, no matter what the weather is, because that’s our family tradition. A lot of Aussies have swapped the turkey dinner for a barbecue or seafood and I’m not that bothered myself but we are having a Boxing Day barbie this year at son number 2’s new house, so that makes a change.

Sanctuary, by the way, is a sci-fi novel about a world in the 25th century, where two different cultures live–one underground and one in a converted shopping centre. No-one can live outside because the sun is deadly. It’s an adventure with a touch of romance–I wrote this one for young adults but I’ve found most of the readers are adults so don’t let the YA label put you off. If you’re in the UK, you can get it here. Positive reviews would be much appreciated!


51 Comments

Writing Challenge–Write a paragraph beginning with ‘It was a dark and stormy night’.

I’ve just started writing short stories again and, in the pursuit of a topic, I was trying to think of a random first line. Years ago I was in a class for short story writing and the teacher used to give us a line, usually before our coffee break. It was great fun to see what different stories everyone came up with, starting with that same line. Trying to think of a line myself, that old favourite from the 19th century, ‘It was a dark and stormy night’ kept popping into my head, so I thought okay, why not? I wrote what I think is not a bad story and I thought it would be fun to see how many of you would like to join in the challenge. Maybe just a paragraph but don’t be surprised if it turns into a story. Here’s mine. (Search my archived posts for more writing challenges.)

A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

It was a dark and stormy night . . . Lorna pushed the delete button and chuckled out loud. I really am getting desperate, she thought. She pushed her chair back from the desk and stretched her arms above her head.  Definitely time for a coffee break. It wasn’t dark and neither was it stormy. It was late morning and the sun was shining brilliantly. That was a large part of the problem, she thought, as she topped up the kettle and rinsed her coffee cup. She needed dark and stormy. Who could write on such a glorious day? Her novel was meant to be full of horror, with evil and a good deal of gore thrown in for good measure. Trixie weaved himself around and through Lorna’s legs, looking for attention, and she bent down and picked him up. “I’m not finished though, Trix. Just because I’m not at the computer doesn’t mean I can sit down with you for the rest of the day.”

She did sit down with him, though, on their favourite armchair by the big window overlooking the lake. He curled up on her lap and she sipped her coffee, staring vacantly out the window and stroking the big tomcat with her spare hand. Trixie had turned up on her doorstep as a young cat—not a kitten exactly, but not full grown either. More like a teenager, Lorna told everyone. For some reason she’d thought he was female, perhaps because, once she’d cleaned him up and brushed his long, matted ginger fur, he was just so pretty. So she’d called him Trixie and when he’d turned out to be male, well, he wasn’t worried, so why would she be?

Lorna’s life had taken a sudden turn for the better a year ago when her partner had decided to fly the coop. Their relationship had become—not violent—but certainly fiery.  Lorna admitted she had a tendency to take things too far sometimes; she was hard to please, a perfectionist, and was better off living alone. She and Trixie got along well. On the spur of the moment she’d decided to quit her job as well as the flat they’d shared and look for a house in the country. She was only a couple of years short of pension age but she cashed in her super and some investments she had and bought a brand new computer and a nice little cottage; she had enough to live on for a couple of years if she was careful. She was going to be a professional writer, just as she’d always wanted.

Everything was set up, but her life now was too easy. She was too content. She wanted to write about murder and mayhem but the sun was shining, the birds were singing and she couldn’t, just couldn’t, think murder and mayhem on such a day. There was a knock on the door and she put down a reluctant cat. It was very unusual to get visitors out here in the summer. It was a cottage meant for the snow season and somewhat isolated in the summer, which was why Lorna chose it. She wanted to be alone while she waited for the inspiration she knew would come. Eventually. A young man stood at the door, car keys dangling in his hand. He smiled, showing sparkling white teeth; he was well dressed and nice-looking, with neatly trimmed hair. So Lorna ignored the little niggling warning bell in her brain and said of course he could come in and use the phone. His car had broken down a kilometre away and hers was the first house he’d come across.

“I can’t tell you how relieved I am, Miss . . . Mrs?”

“Lorna will do fine.”

He held his hand out. “I’m Pete. Pete Woodross. I just came up for a look around. On holidays, you know, down in the village.”

She nodded. “Not much to do around here in the summer.” “

You’re telling me!” He looked around the bright and airy room. “Nice place you’ve got here though.”

She nodded again. “I like it.” She gestured to the phone on the wall beside the little entrance table. “The phone’s over there. You don’t have a mobile?”

He took it out of his pocket to show her. “Yes, for all the use it is. No reception up here at all.”

“Really? Maybe you should change providers. Mine seems to work all right.” She reached her hand out but he put the phone back in his pocket. “You go ahead and make your call.” She still held her half empty cup in her hand and felt obliged to ask, “Would you like a coffee . . . or tea?”

He grinned. “I’d kill for a cup of tea, thanks.”

She tipped her now lukewarm coffee out and made them both a cup of tea; she put them on the kitchen table and then got the tin of cookies out of the pantry and put a few on a plate. She could hear him talking on the phone in the foyer.

“Hello. Yes. I’m a member.” He said a rather long number and then gave the street name nearby where he said his car was. Then, “An hour? But . . . surely . . . It’s not that isolated! How busy can they be?”

Lorna sat at the table and at last he came out and joined her. “How did you go?” she asked.

“Oh, okay,” he answered, his mouth full of homemade choc chip cookie. “Be a while though. At least an hour.” He looked around the room again. “Mind if I hang out here? I won’t get in your way.”

She frowned, not knowing what to say.

“I could just sit there and watch TV, if that’s okay? Or read a book? Got any good books?”

She nodded slowly. “Probably. What sort of books do you like?”

He flashed his teeth again, now slightly less white, with the remains of the chocolate chips showing here and there between them. “Murder’s my thing. Probably not yours though, I’m guessing. You look more like the romance type.”

Lorna shook her head vigorously. “Definitely not. I’m far too level-headed for that; seen far too much of life.”

He nodded slowly, looking at her carefully. “That’s good,” he said quietly. “Excellent.”

For some reason disturbed, Lorna got up hastily and went to the bookshelf in the lounge area partitioned off from the kitchen only by a wall unit. The young man followed close behind her but she didn’t look back. Not even when she felt his breath on her neck did she turn around. Instead she closed her eyes, not wanting to see the bright airy room, not wanting to look at Trixie, who still sat on the armchair, watching his mistress and the visitor. As the young man’s hands went around her neck and squeezed the life from her it started raining outside and everything became black; there was thunder too, or was it just in her head? No matter. Her last thought before she lost consciousness was ‘It was a dark and stormy night’.

Please visit my author page for more info on all my books on Amazon.com and Amazon.com.uk  

Facebook Author Page  

Author Website

Also at other digital stores, including Apple, Kobo and Barnes and Noble: Books2Read 

More information on my Book Page.

Stony Creek is free–the first in a series but can be read as a standalone. Of course I’m hoping you’ll buy the other two, but because you like book 1 and want more, no cliffhangers!


5 Comments

Who reads Young Adult novels?

What is a young adult, really? In my state 18 has taken over as the official age of adulthood, which used to be 21. That means you have to vote (yes, it’s compulsory, whether you know or care anything about politics or not) and you are allowed to apply for a driver’s licence. It also means you can legally drink alcohol, so on the same day you get your licence you can get drunk. That doesn’t seem such a great idea to me but of course most ‘young adults’ drink well before it’s legal.

Of course when you apply for insurance for your car you might, as an 18 year old, be shocked to find your premiums considerably higher than those of a 25 year old. Insurance companies, like parents, know adulthood doesn’t start at 18. I’m not a psychologist and I’m not going to discuss the differences between men and women as far as maturity goes but everyone’s different. I think somewhere in the twenties is probably a more realistic figure for adulthood; anyway I digress. I want to discuss Young Adult books and who actually reads them. Clearly the term ‘young adult’ doesn’t refer to any legal definition of adulthood.

I studied Writing for Young Adults and many of us in the class felt that most YA novels were read by either other writers or kids at school who had to read them as part of the curriculum! That was when Harry Potter had just been discovered and before the Twilight series. A lot of YA novels tended to be a bit on the ‘preachy’ side and not what anyone really wanted to read. J.K Rowling found a great way of bridging that gap between children’s books and books for teens, by having her characters grow up with her readers, and I don’t know of anyone else who managed that so well.

There does seem to be a gap there–I filled that gap with comics and then teen magazines before I found adult novels I enjoyed. My sons mostly leapt from children’s books to huge fantasy books such as Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series, apart from the youngest, who was just the right age to grow up with Harry Potter.

So somehow, someone tried to fill in this gap with YA novels and there’s no doubt some of them have been very successful, both as books and as movies, like the Twilight series and The Hunger Games.

But at what age are children reading YA novels? There seems to be a disparity of age suitability within the YA group–some of them are more for pre-teens and early teens while others, such as those I just mentioned, are more for the older teens.

Would you be happy for your eleven year old to read the Twilight series or is this more for 15 and up? I don’t have any teenagers and would be interested to hear what age groups are reading YA fiction. I’ve written books for all age groups and have, on Amazon, two that I consider suitable for pre-teens and one for teens, called Sanctuary. I have that free on Amazon for one day only and would love to know what age you think it suits; it’s a science fiction novel set in the 25th century and the inspiration for it was a group of young homeless people I saw on a documentary years ago, living in an underground subway system. One of the girls was carrying a baby and I started thinking about what life would be like for that child if he actually grew up there–what if a whole generation grew up underground? Going on the basis that kids generally prefer to read books about people who are a couple of years older than they are I think it’s suitable for 14 to 16, and adults of course, who aren’t so fussy about age!

Happy reading.


6 Comments

Survivalism and baked beans–plus a free ebook!

What is it with people who dig underground bunkers and fill them cans of food and bottles of water etc.,  in the hope of some catastrophic event that only they will survive? There’s been threats probably as long as humanity existed and there’ll always be something new, so I understand the fear. What I don’t understand is what sort of person would want to live in a hole in the ground, with a stockpile of weapons and ammunition, prepared to defend their baked beans against attacks from their hungry neighbours!

For starters, I do not like being underground; I went to a party a few years ago in an old underground mine (I know that sounds weird, but it’s a tourist attraction here–an old gold mine). I tried to forget the tonnes of rock and earth above our heads but couldn’t–not a good environment for me. But then the idea of living in such a world has no appeal for me anyway. If it’s not safe to live  out in the fresh air I’ll take my chances.

I’ve always been fascinated by different writer’s ideas for the future of our world–fictional ideas only. They nearly always involve disaster of some kind and it makes me wonder if we’re somehow hard-wired to expect the world to end one day. Of course fiction does need something a little more interesting than everyday life.

My novel, Sanctuary, began from an idea I had while watching a documentary on homeless kids, who were living in an underground railway system. One of the young girls was carrying a baby and I wondered what would happen to that child.

Sanctuary is set in the 26th century and there are two distinct peoples: the Centrals, who live underground and the Thrallians, who live in a converted shopping centre. The sun has become deadly and no-one can survive outside during the day. The Thrallians live a comfortable existence in their sheltered and civilized environment and most do not know of the Centrals’ existence, until two boys discover a young girl locked up in the room of one of the rulers.

Sanctuary is written for young adults but I know many adults will enjoy it as well. It’s free for 4 days from the 15th to the 18th April, so check it out and if you enjoy it please write a review for me on Amazon.  https://www.amazon.com/author/christinemgardner

Happy reading.

Image