Chris Gardner

The joys of self-publishing.


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More on Self-Editing: Text to Speech

I’ve just discovered a new tool for self-editing which you may already know about; I tend to not go looking for any secrets my computer may have unless it’s not doing what I want it to. I’d heard of software that could turn text to speech but had never looked into it and assumed it would be something I’d have to buy and install and all that stuff that I just don’t want to bother with. I often read some of my book aloud, particularly dialogue, and I have suggested to others it’s even better if you can persuade someone else to read it to you, or record it and play it back. Probably not practical for an entire novel though and my latest novel has grown to over 80,000 words, quite a bit longer than my previous ones.

Someone mentioned on facebook that there was a Word option for Text to Speech and I still assumed it was an extra that I’d have to buy, install, etc., but it’s not! It’s just there and is super easy to use. It’s probably best that I don’t try to tell you how to use it because explaining technology is not in my list of talents, but if you have Word just ask the help button and they’ll walk you through it. Take my word for it, if I can follow it, you can.

Tex (I decided to call him Tex, because, why not?) and I spent the weekend editing my book. He’s American, but not hard to understand, and has quite a pleasant voice for a computer, even if he does have trouble pronouncing the occasional word. He doesn’t understand Mmm, or Hmm, or Mr and doesn’t understand I want a pause when I use an ellipsis or a long dash, nor will he point out any errors to you. BUT he also won’t skip over the typos we all make, like you and your friends will (maybe even your editor). It’s just the way our brains work; when we see the word ‘out’, in a sentence where it should have been ‘our’, we just know it’s meant to be ‘our’ and may not even notice the mistake. Tex doesn’t notice it either but when he says it out loud, you will notice it.

Tex is certainly not the only self-editing tool you need–he won’t tell you if you’ve written the wrong version of too, or to, or the wrong version of your, or their, but just because reading aloud is so much slower than reading silently I did pick up several things myself that I decided needed improving and he’s my new best friend. I don’t usually have a problem with spelling or grammar but typos? Absolutely!

For some of the things Tex can’t help you with I have a free ebook, ‘What Did You Say?’ on Smashwords. It’s just a little one but there’s some things that will help if you’re unsure about punctuation or grammar. Especially the correct use of apostrophes–do you know what they’re actually for? A lot of people don’t! For all my other books please visit my author pages on Amazon.com or Amazon.UK

 


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If Smart Phones were Smarter . . .

I bought a new smart phone a couple of days ago and I’m not going to go into the make and so on–not advertising or reviewing phones. Even if I wanted to I clearly don’t know enough about them to attempt that. I thought all I wanted from a phone was to talk to people and text. Then with my last phone I discovered how convenient it was to check emails and facebook without getting out of my lounge chair. I had that phone for 2 years and since we were due to renew the phone contract we decided to get me a flash phone with a bigger screen. One thing I knew I wanted was a decent camera which also allowed me to use Skype. The old one had no front camera and although it took reasonable photos outside the indoor ones were rubbish.

So the phone arrived, very promptly, the morning after we ordered it online. It’s not guilty 2014 coverbeautiful–all the bells and whistles, big screen but not too heavy–very thin and it does take nice photos. All good, smarter than me no doubt. What I want to know is if it’s so smart why couldn’t it just connect with the old phone and automatically upload all the settings and info that’s there? Why do I have to start all over again learning how it works and how to get what I need on it?

I confess I did virtually nothing; passed it over to hubby who spent all day mucking around and talking to a call centre (I suspect in India). Fortunately he quite likes playing with new technology. I just want it do what my old one did, but better. Is that too much to ask? I now have all my contacts on it and facebook etc. set up so it’s all good but, to be perfectly honest, if it had been up to me to set it up I’d have repackaged it and returned it to the sender long before the day was out. Hopefully I’ll be right now for another 2 years.

‘Not Guilty’, a true story about the brutal murder of three children by their mother in Australia, 1910, is free on Amazon from 11th to 13th of February.

RED DUST SERIES: Stony Creek, The Road to Karinya, Red Wine and Summer Storms.

I admit I can be a teeny bit pedantic at times and am easily annoyed by misused apostrophes and so on, but where do these words come from? Did someone just wake up one day and decided the word ‘regardless’ just doesn’t work anymore, so let’s call it ‘irregardless’ instead? Sometimes what seems just plain wrong to my ears can be American English, while in Australia we speak UK English. Well, we did, but we’re becoming more and more Americanised, which doesn’t bother me too much; it’s inevitable so there’s no point losing sleep over it. When I started hearing people say they were ‘in agreeance’ my first thought was that it was plain wrong, then maybe that it was American. It’s not in any of my dictionaries and certainly doesn’t pass my computer spellcheck, but when I Googled it I found it may have actually been used once upon a time and has been replaced with ‘agreement’.

That opens up another argument about the evolution of language; we know English has changed and is continuing to change, whether we like it or not. I’ve heard the word ‘literally’ has been misused so much that it’s now accepted to mean–well, not literally at all, so nothing really. Nope–I’m not accepting that one.

If you want to say we’re in agreeance, please say we’re in agreement, or better still, simply say we agree! I suspect many people make mistakes with their language because they’re trying to sound better educated than they are; they use phrases like ‘at this point in time’ rather than ‘now’ and ‘back to back’, which always reminds me of a silly poem my father used to amuse us kids with:what did

One fine day in the middle of the night 
Two dead boys got up to fight 
Back to back they faced each other 
Drew their swords and shot each other 

It goes on for several verses, but anyway, I digress, as usual. While I’m griping about the misuse of words, my all time favourite is ‘myself’, which so many public speakers use when the correct word would be ‘I’ or ‘me’. For more on this and other easily fixed language problems, check out ‘What Did You Say?’ FREE all the time at Smashwords.  See my Amazon page for all my other books.

 

this one book2 karinya ebook  new the inheritance cover darkamazon not guilty 2014 coverblog BookCoverImageher fleshandblood

 


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An open letter to Smashwords.

I’ve given you a good chance, Smashwords. I’ve published my best selling book with you; you know the one, Stony Creek; sales on Amazon have far exceeded my expectations and it’s still selling well, ten months after publication. So why can’t you sell it? Not even one copy?

I’ve tried several books with you, Smashwords (May I call you Smashy?) and I’ll leave a couple for the time being, but I don’t intend to put any more up. The only ones that appear to be moving much are the freebies and even then, I thought that might be worthwhile as a promotional tool. Unfortunately you won’t allow me to promote my books at Amazon in the freebies. Understandable of course but I’m sure you can see it kind of makes the whole thing pretty pointless for me.Stony_Creek_Cover_for_Kindle

I know you do sell some books, Smashy; you have sold a couple for me, some time ago now, but, for whatever reason, your buyers don’t want to buy my books. I don’t take that personally because there are many buyers at Amazon who do buy my books, especially Stony Creek, which you’ve had for a couple of months now, I think. I’ll leave it with you for now, simply because it is selling very well at Amazon and I have no intention of using it as a free promotion there, so there’s no need for it to be exclusive. And of course I’ve already gone through all that tedious business of formatting for you. (Whew!)

I think, however, I’ll end up removing all the others so I can offer them free occasionally with Amazon’s KDP Select–I don’t mean this to be an ad for Amazon but, honestly, Smashy, I just don’t see the point.

Farewell, and no hard feelings.

Stony Creek at Amazon.com

And at Amazon UK

Free ebooks 14th and 16th September: Beast of War (Fantasy for kids, big and little) and Connections (short stories)

UK readers: Beast of War and Connections

For those of us in the Southern Hemisphere, the 14th actually starts here some time in the early evening on our 14th, so you should be able to get freebies at Amazon.com tonight.


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Another attempt at facebook . . . come visit me.

I’m finally succumbed to the nagging of writer friends and have set up an author facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ChristineGardnerAuthor

I’ve had a facebook page for years and spend way too much time there already and I’m not at all sure if I need an author page. For me it’s always been a family thing. My sons actually got me started because they’ve all done a bit of travelling and, rather than sending emails to everyone, they could just post a status and as many photos as they wanted on facebook. Between the five of them, they’ve been to Japan, Mauritius, England, France, New Zealand, Thailand, Vietnam, Papua New Guinea and South America. I may have missed one or two.

My ancestry is British–all over Britain–Scotland, Wales, England and Ireland and I’d love to go there one day–it’s the number one thing on my bucket list but I’ll need to sell a lot of books! Anyone who lives in, or has been to, Australia knows it’s a very long way from the rest of the Western World and a very expensive trip to make. Not to mention it takes, I think 20 something hours. Yuck. I’m not fond of flying and my longest flight so far has been 4 hours, to Perth. Half an hour of fear and three and a half hours of boredom. Make that three. It was kind of interesting at one stage flying over some islands near the Western Australian Coast.

What on earth do people do on a 20 hour flight? Staring out the window at ocean views or clouds would soon wear pretty thin. No doubt my kindle would be useful and I know there’s movies–anything else? I’d be like a little kid–are we there yet?

I’ve also read, and still do, many books set in the English countryside. I’ve even written a couple and it would be good to actually go there and feel the air and see it for myself. Then, of course, like the rest of the world I’ve watched countless movies set in the USA and would love to see some of the places they were made. I’m not talking about Hollywood but the towns and cities where the movies were set.

I’d also like a taste of something less familiar–China is very interesting, as is India. And all of Europe of course–oh what the hell, I’d like to go everywhere!

So I’ve digressed again–back to the facebook thing–I believe I have to collect as many ‘likes’ as possible. This feels like primary school–could you please come visit and ‘like’ my page? https://www.facebook.com/ChristineGardnerAuthor

Thanks!